Well These Won’t Be Easy on the Brain

  1. My new book “Ventriloquism for Dummies” just arrived. For some reason I can’t read it without moving my lips.
  2. God’s majesty is ineffable…so are women wearing chastity belts.
  3. It was just a prank when Debra Messing said her mother, Mrs. Messing went missing. Messing was just messing with us.
  4. He exercised his Free Will. He had no choice.
  5. He drank the prune juice with “aplomb.” He had no choice.
  6. He was allowed only to pick between Prime Beef or Select Beef. They had no Choice.
  7. There is no #7. I had no choice.
  8. Try not to get into acute depression, because there’s nothing cute about depression.
  9. A prisoner on Death Row had the foresight to order a 112 ft. long submarine sandwich for his last meal. The warden complied. The inmate lived for another 14 days while slowly eating the lengthy sandwich, but died of food poisoning on the 15th day.  

    Submarine Sandwich Forever 

 

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