Top 10 (or so) Least Popular “White Noise” Ambient Sounds
- Rain falling on a corpse
- An endless loop of “Please listen carefully as some of our menu options have changed”
- Waves crashing on a Land Rover parked too close to the shore
- Nail guns operated by the Marine Drum & Bugle Corps
- Wind blowing through an orphanage
- An endless loop of “If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911”
- Morgan Freeman slowly enunciating, “Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Heeeeere kitty.”
- A batter repeatedly hit on the ankle by a 95 mph fastball
- A continuous sound of rubber being punctured by one of those “Caution: Severe Tire Damage” spikes.
- The Gettysburg Address solemnly spoken in Pig Latin
- A quartet of Leaf Blowers playing “When the Saints Go Marching In”
- The sound of no hands clapping. AKA the Sound of Silence.
- Christopher Walken reciting “Rock-a-Bye Baby”
- The whoosh of toilets flushing
- A 15-round recording of Rock’em Sock’em robots boxing
- A veterinarian brushing Grover’s teeth. Grover is his assistant.
- The zipping sounds of aestheticians administering a bikini wax
And if this list doesn’t put you to sleep, nothing will.