I’ll spare you the indignity of bad puns and obvious analogies…in my next story. Meanwhile, prepared to be slimed!

Snail out for a morning ooze. This RV snail is so-called because he takes his house with him everywhere.

Due to a chronic shortage of shells many snails, like this unfortunate slug, are homeless.

A ménage of snails enjoying a threesome. With protective shells on they’re practicing “Safe Goo.”

This hermit snail prefers to be alone. Coming out of his shell only if it rains.

Snails on Death Row. Most come from broken shells.

Snail delivering the mail at a pace I’d rather not describe. Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Only salt stops them.

Thrill seeking snail riding on back of turtle at Fast and Furious Theme Park screaming “Weeeeee!”

Hallucinogenic snail radiates a rainbow after accidentally sliming over some LSD. Here seen telling shell to, “Get off my back man.”

Forest Ranger Snail making new trail for campers.