Hardiman Just Doesn’t Understand Women

Hardiman Just Doesn’t Understand Women

  • Until recently he thought Angina was a heart ailment only women suffered from

 

  • Until recently he thought a Vulva was a very safe Swedish car.

 

  • Until recently he thought a Menstrual Cycle was something schoolgirls rode from period to period

 

  • Until recently he thought a Clitoral Hood was a place where very sensitive people hung out

 

  • Until recently he thought Labia Minora and Labia Majora were constellations

 

  • Until recently he thought the Ozone was a very sensitive spot on a woman. The O-zone.

 

  • Until recently he discovered people were actually saying “At your service ma’am.” when all along he thought they were saying “At your cervix ma’am.”

 

  • Until recently he thought Hymen was a greeting you might say to a bunch of workmen you’re walking by

 

  • Until recently he thought Urethra was the first name of the Queen of Soul. Urethra Franklin

 

  • Until recently he thought FallopianTube was a video-sharing service for women

 

  • Until recently he thought a Tipped Uterus was a gratuity given to a womb that provided really great cervix. “Thank you for your cervix ma’am.”

 

  • Until recently he thought Clitoris was a breath freshening chewing gum. Wrong. It was Clorets. The guy must be suffering from Cloret’s Syndrome.

 

  • Until recently he thought Estrogen was a citizen of Estrogenia

 

  • Until recently he thought a Hysterectomy was when you removed the laugh track from a sitcom

 

  • Until recently he thought an Ovary was that little accent mark atop the letter é. An over é. 

 

I’m not convinced Mr. Hardiman is even trying to clarify these misapprehensions. Sometimes I think he just pays them lip service. Meanwhile, for some reason, he refuses to eat at any Black Angus restaurant.

 

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