1. The Autobahn Society – A German charity for drivers who like to fly down the road. Not to be confused with the Audubon Society which is for the birds
2. SPCA – The Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Airheads. Even idiots deserve protection.
3. Make-a-Fish Foundation – This charity enables critically ill fish to fulfill a lifelong dream before going belly up
4. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – The Polish Tourism Board’s initiative to relocate Mt. Everest to Warsaw. As they say: “Together we can move mountains.”
   

   They say charity begins at home – usually online and with a credit card.

5. The Alfred J Hitchcock Attic Fund – A Ghoulish Fundraiser to Exhume, Taxidermy and Display the Body of Anthony Perkins (star of Psycho) in a cobwebby attic
6. Habitat for Profanity – This charity builds soundproof housing for potty mouth residents
7. Doctors Without Bladders – This group is the best on the continent and also incontinent
8. Cereal Huggers of America – Combats Big Farma’s evil practice of growing wheat just to slaughter it in annual genocidal harvests
9. Friends of Bringing in the Sheaves – This Charity Group hopes to install “Bringing in the Sheaves” as America’s National Anthem
10. Bröders Without Borders – German familial organization promoting the unrestricted travel of German brothers
11. PETAC – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animal Crackers. They’re in the process of combining with Cereal Huggers of America
12. The Endowment for People Who’d Like to be Better Endowed – Seeks donations from people with really big endowments
13. The Pew Charitable Trust – Pew, they stink. It is advised you stay upwind from these very effective do-gooders. Best to donate online.
14. The Salvation Navy – At Xmas, instead of ringing a bell, they blow a foghorn
15. NAACP for Chocolatiers – The National Association for the Advancement of Chocolate People is a charity designed to prevent discrimination against artisan chocolate makers
16. A Fund to Make Echoes Last Longer – I said, a Fund to Make Echoes Last Longer. I said, a Fund to Make Echoes Last Longer.

All new Amazon plants to be built from wood. I guess that makes them plant based plants.

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