Apples: The ultimate Variety Show.

A Variety of Apple Varieties

1. Red Delicious – Very American
2. Bloody Delicious – Very English
3. Rome Beauty – Known as the Sophia Loren apple. Curvy and sweet.
4. Johnny Rottenseed – English Punk Apple
5. LGBT Cutie – They say one bite of this forbidden fruit and you’ll never go back. Great apple, but it’s kinda hard to breed.
6. Golden Delicious – An American favorite
7. Brown and Not-so-Delicious – A prison favorite (actually a Golden Delicious that didn’t sell at the supermarket)
8. Fuji – Popularity is skyrocketing
9. Emoji – Popularity is 🚀
10. Pippin – A popular apple and musical. They almost produce the same thing: One generates applesauce, the other applause. Appleplause.
11. Macintosh – 32 bytes in every Apple
12. Gravenstein – Tomb in a tankard, the grave-in-stein apple is an IPA craft fruit
13. Granny Smith – Crisp and tart
14. Mealy Smith – Soft and bland. People with dentures swear by them or at least near them.
15. Vermont Black – A now extinct variety. It seems there are no longer any Blacks left in Vermont.
16. Pink Lady – Flavorful and sweet
17. Pink Ladyboy – Popular in San Francisco. Very Fruity. Also flavorful and sweet.
18. Dark Lady – A favorite of Cher. ♫Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one♫
19. That Ain’t No Lady, That’s My Wife – Henny Youngman helped to develop this apple
20. Fat Man – Atomically delicious. It’s the only apple that has a half-life.
21. Apple Corps – What’s a list without a Beatle reference?
22. Gala – A Gala day keeps the doctor away. A gal a day is plenty for me.

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