Observations After 61 Years of Living (most of them consecutive)

Let’s begin by setting the expectation bar really low, and hope I can get under it.

  1. I rub women the wrong way – I’m a Massagynist
  2. Physicist Izzy Grissom insists his wrist is twisted, but it’s just a cyst that persists. That’s the gist.
  3. My advice to the citizens of Moldova: Men, guard your catalytic convertors. Women and children, sell your platelets. And to all my mollusk friends: keep clam.
  4. For obvious reasons, during performances at the High Wire Club, tipping is not allowed
  5. It is said by people much smarter than me (and I’m sure there are some someplace) that curly fries are overblown.
  6. The preeminent physicist Robert Oppenheimer was also a great chef, though in some of his dishes he did tend to over-plutonium a bit. I’m told he made the only Beef Wellington with a half-life and his fusion cooking was absolutely devastating.
  7. I felt both full and empty after reading Jean-Paul Sartre’s Being and Nothingness.
  8. The syphilis way to get an STD is to have sex

 

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