Posts Tagged ‘aviv’
While touring in Jerusalem, I got into a confusing conversation with my tour guides Said Abdullah and his brother Aviv.
I asked Said if people from Yemen were friendly.
Said said, “There are no enemy Yemeni. Any enmity with the Yemeni is cockamamie.”
Me: You’re sure there are no enemy Yemeni?
Said: Yemen, I’m Syrias.
Me: You’re Syrias? OK. Does your brother know about all this?
Said: No, but I plan to Tel Aviv.
Me: Interesting. Well allow me to Babylon. Did you know that when you tell a lie it’s “instant bull?”
Said: No. Istanbul is in Turkey.
Me: It is? I can’t keep my Bosporus Strait. Do you remember that Beatle song where they sing ♫Strawberry Fields Nothing Israel ♫?”
Said: Iraq my brain, but I don’t know that song. However I do know the Beatle song where they sing, ♫You say Dubai and I say Hello ♫.
Me: After this can we visit the pyramids in Egypt?
Said: Well we could go, or we Kuwait.
Me: What do you think of the pyramids at Giza?
Said: The pyramids are perfect, but the Sphinx stinx. See the thing of it is is israel wants us to stay.
Me: Is it true that when in Jerusalem you do as the Jerusalemanians do
Said: This Israeli true.
Me: What Israeli true?
Said: That we are not going to the pyramids. We went once and got ripped-off by a fellow tour guide – Egypt us.
Me: OK. I’m just glad the COVID scare is over. Da masks were Syria-sly bad.
Said: Yes. Damascus, Syrias.
Me: Oman. That Israeli true. Hey Said, what do you call someone’s father who works for Ziploc?
Said: That’s easy. Baghdad.