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My Middle Eastern Misunderstanding

While touring in Jerusalem, I got into a confusing conversation with my tour guides Said Abdullah and his brother Aviv.

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Can’t say enough about all this. Maybe I’ve said too much already.

I asked Said if people from Yemen were friendly.

Said said, “There are no enemy Yemeni. Any enmity with the Yemeni is cockamamie.”

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Me: You’re sure there are no enemy Yemeni?

Said: Yemen, I’m Syrias.

Me: You’re Syrias? OK. Does your brother know about all this?

Said: No, but I plan to Tel Aviv.

Me: Interesting. Well allow me to Babylon. Did you know that when you tell a lie it’s “instant bull?”

Said: No. Istanbul is in Turkey.

Me: It is? I can’t keep my Bosporus Strait. Do you remember that Beatle song where they sing ♫Strawberry Fields Nothing Israel ♫?”

Said: Iraq my brain, but I don’t know that song. However I do know the Beatle song where they sing, ♫You say Dubai and I say Hello ♫.

Me: After this can we visit the pyramids in Egypt?

Said: Well we could go, or we Kuwait.

Me: What do you think of the pyramids at Giza?

Said: The pyramids are perfect, but the Sphinx stinx. See the thing of it is is israel wants us to stay.

Me: Is it true that when in Jerusalem you do as the Jerusalemanians do

Said: This Israeli true.

Me: What Israeli true?

Said: That we are not going to the pyramids. We went once and got ripped-off by a fellow tour guide – Egypt us.

Me: OK. I’m just glad the COVID scare is over. Da masks were Syria-sly bad.

Said: Yes. Damascus, Syrias.

Me: Oman. That Israeli true. Hey Said, what do you call someone’s father who works for Ziploc?

Said: That’s easy. Baghdad.