Posts Tagged ‘Yemen’
While touring in Jerusalem, I got into a confusing conversation with my tour guides Said Abdullah and his brother Aviv.
I asked Said if people from Yemen were friendly.
Said said, “There are no enemy Yemeni. Any enmity with the Yemeni is cockamamie.”
Me: You’re sure there are no enemy Yemeni?
Said: Yemen, I’m Syrias.
Me: You’re Syrias? OK. Does your brother know about all this?
Said: No, but I plan to Tel Aviv.
Me: Interesting. Well allow me to Babylon. Did you know that when you tell a lie it’s “instant bull?”
Said: No. Istanbul is in Turkey.
Me: It is? I can’t keep my Bosporus Strait. Do you remember that Beatle song where they sing ♫Strawberry Fields Nothing Israel ♫?”
Said: Iraq my brain, but I don’t know that song. However I do know the Beatle song where they sing, ♫You say Dubai and I say Hello ♫.
Me: After this can we visit the pyramids in Egypt?
Said: Well we could go, or we Kuwait.
Me: What do you think of the pyramids at Giza?
Said: The pyramids are perfect, but the Sphinx stinx. See the thing of it is is israel wants us to stay.
Me: Is it true that when in Jerusalem you do as the Jerusalemanians do
Said: This Israeli true.
Me: What Israeli true?
Said: That we are not going to the pyramids. We went once and got ripped-off by a fellow tour guide – Egypt us.
Me: OK. I’m just glad the COVID scare is over. Da masks were Syria-sly bad.
Said: Yes. Damascus, Syrias.
Me: Oman. That Israeli true. Hey Said, what do you call someone’s father who works for Ziploc?
Said: That’s easy. Baghdad.
Frontline: The Middle East
Sector Q Counterinsurgency Task Force – Alpha Group
Corpsman: The combatants have dug in at the oasis just beyond the mirage.
Captain: Good work soldier. We need to know their numbers. How many enemy Yemeni are there?
Corpsman: Iraq my brain and I still don’t know how many enemy Yemeni.
Captain: This is really what I’m asking you.
Corpsman: What Israeli?
Captain: Oh, please be Syrias. We’ll need our face masks for the firefight. Where are they?
Corpsman: I am being serious. Damascus on the table. They were very expensive.
Captain: Yeah the masks were expensive; Egypt us.
Corpsman: Who jipped us?
Captain: No. Who, is the guy on first base.
Corpsman: What about that Jew on second?
Captain: Lowenstein is not a Jew. That Israeli true. Ikanstan this anymore. I’m too old and my knees hurt. And no matter how much they hurt – you can’t Sudanese.
Corpsman: Oman. That is really true.You can’t sue the knees but you can Suez.
Captain: That Israeli true. Tell me about it. In fact Tel Aviv.
Corpsman: OK. Hey Aviv. Do you know how many enemy Yemeni are at the oasis?
Aviv: No, the whole thing’s a mirage. Fallujah, didn’t I?