1. What Yappy Dogs Have Taught Me
   

   My friend has a swell head.

2. Men with Ringworm…and the Women Who Love Them
3. “On the Paper You Urchins!” On Toilet Training Dickensian Orphans
4. Mom Kept Me in a Refrigerator Box Till I was 8: Learning to Chillax Again in a Big Scary World
5. Born Under a Zero: Learning to Live Without an Astrological Sign
6. It Takes Two: Learning to Use the New 35 ft. Intestinal Flosses
7. Can You Eat Animal Crackers and Still Call Yourself a Vegan?
8. I was Born a Virgin, I’ll Die a Virgin:
9. From Shiplap to Beadboard – A Panel Discussion on Paneling
10. Monsieur Papillion Teaches Fencing – Mostly Chain Link and Stockade
11. Pharmaceutical Media Influencers Insist: You’ll Be More Popular than Ever, Once You Have Eczema

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