Posts Tagged ‘great’

1. Sophocles – A great Greek playwright
2. Testicles (rhymes with Sophocles) – A not-so-great maker of sacs

 

1. Pythagoras – A great mathematician and discoverer of a²+ b² = c²
2. Esophagus – This one may be a tough one to swallow, but he was a not-so-great chef.

 

1. Zorba the Greek – Broke plates and partied like it was 1999 BC
2. Zorba the Freak – Ate plates and partied like it was Y2K BC

 

1. Archimedes – Another great mathematician. Archimedes was so screwed.
2. Diabetes – He and his brother Pancreas were always slipping into not-so-great comas

 

1. Odysseus – Great Greek king and warrior of the Trojan War
2. Peristalsis – A not-so-great Greek. You may find this hard to digest, but Peristalsis was the mortal enemy of Vomitus.

 

1. Prometheus – A great Greek who brought fire into the world
2. Bursitis – A not-so-great Greek who brought rheumatism into the world  

 

1. Herodotus – A great Greek historian. Herodotus wrote in exquisite detail about the Persian wars.
2. Platypus – A duck-billed Athenian. Always in debt. He’d say. “Just put it on my bill.’
3. Platypussy – Platypus’s wife. Also known as Connie.

 

1. Anthony Quinn – He wasn’t even Greek although he starred in Zorba the Greek
2. Annette Funicello – I don’t even know what she’s doing in this list.

 

1. Moussaka – A great Greek dish of layered eggplant, ground beef and potatoes
2. Moose-saka – Same dish but with antlers. Not-so-great.
3. Meese-saka – More than one Moose-saka

1. Amazing Lace – The Mary Magdalene Story
2. Nearer My Grave Am Thee – Senior worshippers embrace the truth
3. He Be All Dat – Cardi B featuring L’il Hooligan
4. Great is Thy Goiter – The endocrine system celebrated
5. Jesus Take the Wheel, No Wait, I Forgot, It’s a Self-Driving Car – Elon Musk’s paean to himself
6. God and I are Now Exclusive – Gen X’ers getting real with the Almighty
7. Hark! My Arse Hath Been Cleansed – Popular in the Anglican Church
8. One Set of Footprints in the Concrete – A delinquent teen laments ruining his neighbors newly poured sidewalk
9. A Mighty Fortress is My Mancave – Where male sports fans rejoice on Sunday afternoons
10. In the Sweet, Bi and Bi – Often heard at LGBTQ services
11. Blessed Assurance – GEICO gets all sanctimonious with this reminder that 15 minutes could save you 15%.
12. O’God You are the Beta Blocker Beneath My Hemoglobin – A cardiological prescription for Joy
13. Alas My Pharynx is Nigh – Written by David Byrne, so it doesn’t make sense, but you know it’s worthy
14. The Fruit of My Loins is Risen and You’re the Reason Why – AKA: You Up?
15. And We Shall All Joyously Clean Out Satan’s Lint Trap – A devilishly good hymn
16. Let He Who is Without Umbilicus Be Called a Clone – Recombinative DNA researchers’ favorite
17. All My Lymph Nodes Belong to You Mother – George Stephanopoulos pays tribute to his mother for birthing him with a high-functioning lymphatic system, in this esoteric hymn to the body’s other circulatory system
18. How Great Thou Art – The laity sings the praises of Art Garfunkel
19. What a Friend We Have in the IRS – This hymn is very taxing to sing and much depreciated. 10-4ty good brother.
20. Stop and Smell the Noses – Impossible to do. Noses don’t smell. Or do they?
21. The Devil Can Kiss My Grits – Southern Baptists sing their truth
22. Bringing in the Sheaves – The Baptist classic
23. Bringing in the Heaves – The more masculine oriented version of Bringing in the Sheaves
24. Bringing in the Thieves – Pontius Pilate collars Barabbas and his cohorts for stealing sheaves
25. Oy! Enough Already with the Sheaves – A favorite in synagogues
26. Desire Under the Eaves – Adam and Eve try to resist the temptation of being fruitful and multiplying
27. Dear God, What Exactly is a Sheave and Why are We Always Singing About Them? – Mrs. Fancher’s 3^rd grade class wonders what all this sheave fuss is about