Posts Tagged ‘great’
Great, and Not-So-Great Greeks
- Sophocles – A great Greek playwright
- Testicles (rhymes with Sophocles) – A not-so-great maker of sacs
- Pythagoras – A great mathematician and discoverer of a2+ b2 = c2
- Esophagus – This one may be a tough one to swallow, but he was a not-so-great chef.
- Zorba the Greek – Broke plates and partied like it was 1999 BC
- Zorba the Freak – Ate plates and partied like it was Y2K BC
- Archimedes – Another great mathematician. Archimedes was so screwed.
- Diabetes – He and his brother Pancreas were always slipping into not-so-great comas
- Odysseus – Great Greek king and warrior of the Trojan War
- Peristalsis – A not-so-great Greek. You may find this hard to digest, but Peristalsis was the mortal enemy of Vomitus.
- Prometheus – A great Greek who brought fire into the world
- Bursitis – A not-so-great Greek who brought rheumatism into the world
- Herodotus – A great Greek historian. Herodotus wrote in exquisite detail about the Persian wars.
- Platypus – A duck-billed Athenian. Always in debt. He’d say. “Just put it on my bill.’
- Platypussy – Platypus’s wife. Also known as Connie.
- Anthony Quinn – He wasn’t even Greek although he starred in Zorba the Greek
- Annette Funicello – I don’t even know what she’s doing in this list.
- Moussaka – A great Greek dish of layered eggplant, ground beef and potatoes
- Moose-saka – Same dish but with antlers. Not-so-great.
- Meese-saka – More than one Moose-saka
Lesser-Known Religious Hymns
- Amazing Lace – The Mary Magdalene Story
- Nearer My Grave Am Thee – Senior worshippers embrace the truth
- He Be All Dat – Cardi B featuring L’il Hooligan
- Great is Thy Goiter – The endocrine system celebrated
- Jesus Take the Wheel, No Wait, I Forgot, It’s a Self-Driving Car – Elon Musk’s paean to himself
- God and I are Now Exclusive – Gen X’ers getting real with the Almighty
- Hark! My Arse Hath Been Cleansed – Popular in the Anglican Church
- One Set of Footprints in the Concrete – A delinquent teen laments ruining his neighbors newly poured sidewalk
- A Mighty Fortress is My Mancave – Where male sports fans rejoice on Sunday afternoons
- In the Sweet, Bi and Bi – Often heard at LGBTQ services
- Blessed Assurance – GEICO gets all sanctimonious with this reminder that 15 minutes could save you 15%.
- O’God You are the Beta Blocker Beneath My Hemoglobin – A cardiological prescription for Joy
- Alas My Pharynx is Nigh – Written by David Byrne, so it doesn’t make sense, but you know it’s worthy
- The Fruit of My Loins is Risen and You’re the Reason Why – AKA: You Up?
- And We Shall All Joyously Clean Out Satan’s Lint Trap – A devilishly good hymn
- Let He Who is Without Umbilicus Be Called a Clone – Recombinative DNA researchers’ favorite
- All My Lymph Nodes Belong to You Mother – George Stephanopoulos pays tribute to his mother for birthing him with a high-functioning lymphatic system, in this esoteric hymn to the body’s other circulatory system
- How Great Thou Art – The laity sings the praises of Art Garfunkel
- What a Friend We Have in the IRS – This hymn is very taxing to sing and much depreciated. 10-4ty good brother.
- Stop and Smell the Noses – Impossible to do. Noses don’t smell. Or do they?
- The Devil Can Kiss My Grits – Southern Baptists sing their truth
- Bringing in the Sheaves – The Baptist classic
- Bringing in the Heaves – The more masculine oriented version of Bringing in the Sheaves
- Bringing in the Thieves – Pontius Pilate collars Barabbas and his cohorts for stealing sheaves
- Oy! Enough Already with the Sheaves – A favorite in synagogues
- Desire Under the Eaves – Adam and Eve try to resist the temptation of being fruitful and multiplying
- Dear God, What Exactly is a Sheave and Why are We Always Singing About Them? – Mrs. Fancher’s 3rd grade class wonders what all this sheave fuss is about