Posts Tagged ‘last’
There’d be a Martin Luther Briscoe Blvd in every major city.
- Jesus Christ would be known as Jesus Briscoe and when people were really exasperated they’d say, “Oh Jesus H Briscoe!”
- If I said, “The artist formerly known as Briscoe” you’d know I was talking about Prince.
- Abercrombie & Fitch would be known as Briscoe & Briscoe. Then again, so would Simon and Garfunkel.
- Daniel Day-Lewis…Daniel Briscoe-Briscoe
- And you can be damn sure Chuck Norris would still be called Chuck Norris!
- Stormy Briscoe…’nuff said.
- If you saw a long lost buddy in the distance at a baseball game and yelled out, “Hey Briscoe, is that you?” The entire crowd would turn to you and say, “Of course it is.”
- 80% of late night talk show hosts would be named Jimmy Briscoe.
- Muhammad Ali would’ve changed his name from Cassius Briscoe to Muhammad Briscoe
- The happiest places on earth would be Briscoeland and Briscoe World.
- Pharmacies would have one big plastic “B” bin for all the prescriptions to go in.
- The FBI’s 10 Most Wanted Criminals would become more difficult to track down.
- On the other hand, if a criminal used an alias it would have to be Briscoe.
- This Briscoe name thing is really no different than the way it is right now, having the name “Kim” in North Korea.
- The Tom Hanks/bulldog buddy movie Turner & Hooch would become Briscoe & Hooch. But the Dustin Hoffman, Meryl Streep movie Kramer vs. Kramer would become Briscoe vs. Briscoe and would star Dustin Briscoe and Meryl Briscoe.
- The fabled baseball poem Tinkers to Evers to Chance would lose some of its magic because Briscoe to Briscoe to Briscoe just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
- Even if everyone’s last name was Briscoe, Kanye West would still be known as an idiot.
- Abbot & Costello’s classic baseball skit Who’s on First would morph into a pointless Briscoe’s on First, because every player on the field would be named Briscoe. The skit might sound like this:
- Who’s on first?
- It’s not Who. It’s Briscoe. Briscoe’s on 1st.
- I thought Who was the 2nd
- That’s Briscoe.
- So Briscoe’s on 1st and Briscoe’s on 2nd, well then Who’s at shortstop?
- Who is not the shortstop. Briscoe is the shortstop.
- You mean to tell me if they made a double play it would be Briscoe to Briscoe to Briscoe?
- But we like to call it Tinkers to Evers to Chance.
Now that I think of it, maybe it would be funny if everyone’s name in that skit was Briscoe. In any event the skit would be performed by Briscoe & Briscoe which is Abbot & Costello and not to be confused with Simon & Garfunkel. Read the rest of this entry »