Posts Tagged ‘lines’

UN Blurs Distinction Between Imaginary Lines and Virtual Reality

Hell is when things don't connect. Imaginary lines connect things and are not only heavenly, but for sale too. How do you buy an imaginary line? With Monopoly money?

In an effort to raise critically needed cash for its numerous outreach programs, the United Nations has begun selling the naming rights to the Earth’s Imaginary Lines. Despite assurances from UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon that these well-known imaginary lines were not for sale, corporations are paying untold billions – $378 billion at last count – to secure sponsorship of some of the most historic and illustrious imaginary lines ever not actually in existence. Of course now that I’ve told you the amount of money corporations have paid, I suppose the the untold billions are now “told billions.”

The Secretary General has emphatically maintained that, “The United Nations is a global exemplar of trust and integrity, and as such, any attempt at prostituting this institution for short term profit is where I draw the line.” He drew the line alright. However it was an imaginary line and sold for over $4 billion to a lobbyist from Dubai. And now it’s like a Middle Eastern bazaar in the General Assembly as corporations lustily haggle over the price of all sorts of imaginary lines including the one separating North Korea from reality.

Read the rest of this entry »