Posts Tagged ‘state’
- State Flower – The Orange Traffic Cone
- State Flour – Durum Semolina
- Number of Museums Dedicated to Rock & Roll – 1
- Number of Museums Dedicated to the Partridge Family – 0
- Scariest Lake – Lake Eerie
- State Joke: Q. What do young Stags see out of? A. Buckeyes.
- State Electrical Unit – The Ohm
- State Chanting Unit – The Om
- City That is Most Thanked – Cleveland. As in “Thank you Cleveland! You’ve been great.”
- State Fly – The Zipper
- State Zipper – The Fly
- State Bird – Roadrunner (Yes, the one the Coyote is after)
- State Fragrance – Kumquat Spice
- State Flag – Pennant-shaped. Technically a “burgee” shape. Flag has 17 stars because it was the 17th state when admitted in 1803
- State Candy – M&M
- State Rapper – Also Eminem
- State Motto – Ohio: First in Lubrication
- State Cannabis Motto – “Ohhh, High, Ohhh”
- State Capitol – Ɏ (This is the symbol for the state capitol formerly known as Columbus, who’s not too popular these days)
Ohio is still annoyed by those little Dayton bicycle makers – the Wright Bros. – who had to go all the way to Kitty Hawk, NC for the world’s first flight. What, they couldn’t spend those 11 seconds on the shores of Lake Erie?
Q: What state is Ohio in?
A: Ohio is a state.
Q: I mean what state…is Ohio in?
A: Oh, you mean like flux or ignorance.
- Well I’d say Ohio was in a state of Denali.
- You mean denial.
- No. Denali. They want to be Mt McKinley, but they’re about 18,000 ft short.
Every state endeavors to generate tourism dollars through ambitious marketing programs. But sometimes these promotions miss the mark. Witness these botched attempts at stimulating tourism through well-intentioned, but ultimately misguided brochures:
- Colorado: Thanks to Recently Enacted Marijuana Laws Denver is Now the 2-Mile High City
- New Mexico: The Land of Entrapment
- New Mexico: Come for the Radiation. Stay for the ‘Shrooms
- Maryland: We’re Trying. Really. Please Don’t Judge Us by Baltimore
- Wyoming: Live Rectangular or Die
- Florida: America’s Dangling Body Part
- Michigan: Good Mitten, Bad Mitten
- California: The Land of Fruits & Nuts
- California: Ignoring Sexual Harassment from 1850 until 2017
- Delaware: We’re Anti-paranoid. We think everyone is trying to ignore us.
- Arkansas: Our “kansas” isn’t pronounced like Kansas’s “Kansas”
- New Jersey: America’s Lymph System Since 1940
- Alaska: Our Most Northern, Western and Eastern State – Google It
- Indiana: Who’s yer state?
- Washington: Home to Boing, Tinysoft and Barstucks
- Mississippi: “When yer standin’ on yer head, we’re number 1 in everything!”
- Mississippi: Still leading the nation in outhouses per capita
- Mississippi: More Potable Water than Ethiopia and Way More Paved Roads than Bangladesh
- Mississippi: Separate and Equal Drinking Fountains for Each and Every Minority
- Connecticut: “Even we don’t know why there’s a second ‘c’ in our name and we live here”
- Illinois: Land of Lincoln, Air of Jersey, Water of Flint
- Alabama: Thank God We’ve Got College Football
- Louisiana: “Have you visited us lately? We’re barely part of the United States.”
- Texas: Too Big to fail. We’re just underachieving instead.
- Texas: At Least We’ve Got Austin
- Oklahoma: Unchanged since 1907
- Oklahoma: Unchanged since the Big Bang
- Oklahoma: Come and Watch Time Stand Still
- Oklahoma: We have a city named Enid – need we say more?
- Missouri: The Blow Me State
- Wisconsin: We’ve Lost Our Minds, Come Find Yours
- Wisconsin: “I don’t care how inefficient they are; can we please go back to the one kind of regular screw in light bulb?”…and other pleas against modernity in the lighting industry.
- Kansas: What Wisconsin Said