Archive for June, 2016

• Silicon Valley’s premiere psychological recycling center for the burnt out tech worker
• Asylum-like residences in a luxurious clinical environment located on Alcatraz Island
• Patient-run since the uprising in 2014
• 1 and 2 bedroom cells available in 6 month or 1 year sentences

Our open air design encourages a free exchange of ideas.

Happily situated on “The Rock” in San Francisco Bay, Sanitarium Village Apartments are newly rehabilitated; just like you will be after your stay here. Our team of MotherBoard Certified clean room technicians will help defrag your central processing unit so you stop crashing. We’re like Mental Floss for your DOS. Our gated sanctuary is far, far away from the troubling demands of the binary mainland. The gates are designed to keep out the prying eyes of your company’s HR Dept., and, more importantly, to keep in the PTTD (Post Traumatic Tech Disorder) residents we supervise. Read the rest of this entry »

“But I thought…”

Despite exhibiting a grudging appreciation for today’s modern conveniences, many citizens have increasingly displayed a jaded resignation over the nauseating predictability of life’s uncontrollable events.

The Good

For example, going to a Jim Gaffigan comedy show should be great fun. And it is at one level, but attending this costly yuk fest is likely to break the bank and give you a not-so-humorous compound fracture of the funny bone. With all the attendant expenses this jaunty night out amounts to a $700 happening – $800 when you include convenience fees (that’s a euphemism for price gouging). The entire experience leaves one feeling like a cash cow that’s been milked of every cent in its pendulous udder. What was supposed to be a happy little yuk fest morphed into an expensive little yuck fest. Having unknown middlemen’s hands all up in your bursar sac is a violation of your private pouch and an affront to consensual purchases. It’s not so funny when your purse strings are plucked by innumerable unseen offenders who fantasize about anonymously tugging at your financial teat. All this for a comedy show?  – Hah, very funny. I don’t get it. And this is something people volunteer to do. Read the rest of this entry »

“That’s one small step for man. One giant leap for…hold it! What’s that dog doing in the picture? Never mind. I can see what he’s doing.”

It is often said that “dog is man’s best friend.” And although he’s recently been replaced by the iPhone, our faithful little buddy is still a very popular app. Their loyalty and devotion is unquestioned. We are humbled by a dog’s gratitude for the simplest of pleasures; like that plastic spaghetti spoon thing we use to launch a tennis ball a mile and a half with a simple flip of a wrist. Dogs possess a deeply embedded pack instinct, so it was no great surprise to Mission Control when Neil Armstrong’s dog Astro bounded out of the VIP grandstand enclosure at Launch Control and onto the Sea of Tranquility just as Mr. Armstrong was about to take his historic moonwalk. I mean is it really any wonder that when his master went for a walk, the dog would follow. Read the rest of this entry »